I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
