I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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