glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
