he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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