Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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