I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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