After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
