I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
