you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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