So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
