break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
