I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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