just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
