You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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