All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
