Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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