Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
