did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
