so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
