But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
