I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
