i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
