I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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