i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
