real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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