I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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