dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then my night got REAL pukey
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
