nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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