I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
