I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
