He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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