its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
