Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
