Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
