More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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