You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
