According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry about my life...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
