Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
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Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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