it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize