I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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