you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
