"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
