remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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