He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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