I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
someone owes me an orgasm
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
