i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
