he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
