I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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