Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
