In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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