He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
