im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
