im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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