Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I did not marry a roomba.
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