the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize