that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
