She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
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Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize