The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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