If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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