My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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