Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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