I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
