Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I believe in your delicious
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
