I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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