it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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