it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Randomize
